Last Night

Wow, my updates are becoming tediously regular! Sorry about that people, but when your job's demands barely see you through to lunchtime, blogging becomes an all too necessary afternoon passtime.

Last night I went to see the always affable Adam Hills. Many highlights, a few lowlights (not caused by Adam himself, but by the overweening hubris of one audience member. She was simply hideous, wearing twee pink bootlets and stonewash skinny jeans (she was at least 50 - and a blatant mutton-strumpet). Having not switched off her phone before the show started, she of course got a call, which thankfully she didn't answer. However, she started texting the person, presumably to let them know why she couldn't answer. Anyway, Adam caught a whiff and was understandably put out. He reasoned that grabbing her phone was a justifiable move and offered her a generous choice: He could call this guy (according to awful woman, guy calling really fancied her, but she didn't fancy him - seriously, mutton-woman was delusional and self-aggrandising to the bone), or he could send him a message.

In an unprecedented and cringey moment, mutton then jumped onstage, and staggered her (obviously) drunken arse towards Adam, we thought to maybe start a fight. Honestly, I couldn't look away, but I really really wanted to, because it got so much worse. She started plugging her own fringe show. Some one-night-only (read: mediocre-at-best, and therefore undeserving of more than one night) piece of shit involving, I shudder to imagine - Madonna-esque grannytards and waaaaay to much mutton thigh? It was horrifying, and clearly not a stunt orchestrated by Hills: As he hustled her offstage, eliciting promises to put down the damn phone and stop plugging her shit during his air time. Quite rightly, Hills said in a barely disguised stage whisper, 'no one cares'. She turned around at that point and challenged him to repeat himself, and he swiftly responded 'love your hair'.

The upshot of this car crash-style interlude was that she promptly grabbed her bag and the offending phone and hightailed it out of there. Either humiliated (should've been, but probably didn't have the sense to be), or outraged, no-one knows. We hope she and her hot pink booties weren't waiting in a back alley for Adam after the show.

Moral: Self awareness, be my friend, let me never do anything as horrifying as hijacking a comedy show for no better reason that I like myself waaaaaay too much to realise it's really poor form.

Not funny ha ha, but definitely enlightening. Hills, fortunately brought the ha ha in an otherwise great show.